Just finished painting for a jag and am now to rest again. The ocean below is a mix of Prussian Blue and Cobalt Blue and Acrylic Glazing Liquid Gloss (just a touch). It looks black but actually is a nice infinity blue — yum! The coast is a mix of Jenkin’s Green with Titanium White and Neutral Gray. Again with a touch of the glazing liquid. I had stopped using that altogether some years back but now like to add it for a bit of fluidity. Careful, though, because it can “water” down your pigment quite a bit and frustrate you. Perhaps you can see the sketch of the coastline a bit better now, eh? Hope so.
Have been very dissociated today, like where am I, for most of the day. The younger alters must be up, like, that are used to older homes and Georgia, etc. Because I’m having trouble connecting. Frustrating. In a lot of pain as well. Just trying to bide my time until things get more settled. I’m not sure what’s going on. The alters are not really showing me lots of flashbacks or memories, or saying lots of words, I’m just really spacey. Yesterday there was this History Channel special on Hitler and his physical condition and another on Woodstock. I remembered Jimi Hendrix’s solo at the end having “bombs in it” and sure enough, there they were. I don’t remember if I was spacey before that, but surely have been since. Argh. Just kind of rolling with it. Flowing. It’s easier to flow with something you understand, not to eat my own words or anything, but as the host, and feeling out of control and clarity, I’m kind of a wash, awash. Before I woke up this morning fully, there was a visual of these tiny little people and these humongous waves. And I was just watching, calmly.
I wish I could tell you what it means. I am very calm. It’s not that. I’m not overly numb. I’m a bit frustrated at not being connected with my surroundings right now. So painting, resting, trying to connect with my loved ones and surroundings where possible, I mean, what else can I do? Meditate. Yoga. Some crystal work.
Hey, I have been meaning to tell you but wasn’t sure when was the best time. Mark Matousek is the diagnostic editor in progress for Rebekah’s Closet. He is the dear soul reading her at this moment, trying to help me sort her out for the best. He is an author himself, and we just picked up one of his books, his most recent one, this morning Ethical Wisdom: What Makes Us Good. So I have to finish Eat, Pray, Love soon! So I can read it! Great incentive. Can’t wait! yay! It’s always nice to have a new book to look forward to, and again, I’m blessed. 🙂