Only then did I realize, when detailing the background mountains, that my foreground mountains needed to be higher. Hmmm. A bit of playfulness with the background there. No sky in the photo, just deep green cedarscape mountains as far as one can see. Hard to get that depth with watercolor, so will be pulling out the dark green pastels for that, I predict. No worries.
All in all, I feel good, promising, hopeful, excited about the sketch, and excited that, in theory, I can start painting tomorrow! The carpet cleaners are expected sometime in the first half of the day and they never clean the studio so Chipper and me can hang out in here and paint? Possibly. We’ll see how I feel.
Loving, absolutely loving that my IPod now shuffles All Songs now for a single artist when before it would go straight through album by album. I had fairly well memorized them all by now so this is a BOON to Amykind. Yes. Relatively.
A good counseling session today. Less anxiety after Friday’s session but still the loss, which I described in my journal today that (nameless) keeps dying over and over on me. Not just once like for everyone else. It’s like someone came and decided to redo the kitchen and left the wall open, put up some tarp with tape in the Wintertime and said I’ll be back and never came back. Never intends to come back. Won’t be back. I shouldn’t want them to come back, either. There’s that. The shouldn’t want. It’s me and me and the tree. No family in here but me. I mean I have a new family and friends and everything but inside here it’s just me for comfort, me and my spirit and my sense of Buddha and Love and softness and pretty much all the BADNESS I have to cut out, have to keep cutting it out. Fricking wierd process. Btw, I think wierd should be spelled that way. Don’t know why.
But I’ve met one of my goals for the week, and it’s mid-week, and I’m on target. That’s way good. Still haven’t sent the update email. Felt kind of too raw for some reason. Maybe now I can send it with this new sketch. ? Some times I don’t know when I’ll do things so maybe I shouldn’t say I will, heh. Goals are good tho.
It’s like the forecast. Today was supposed to be rainy. Right now, it was supposed to be raining, but the Sun is shining on my face and I’m thrilled! So that’s a good thing. A friend said today, Life is full of surprises. I responded that I’ve learned to have blurry hopefulness. Not to have clear expectations. In fact, a very long time ago I decided not to have much in the way of expectations because I kept being let down. I keep finding that in fact I have expectations, when I thought I had none. Makes me laugh, that I had a minimum. Well, I guess you should have a minimum, a standard, standards. Sure. 🙂