Restorf Island Finitti

http://www.amyjackson.cc/paintings/restorfisland.html

That feels good — I shipped out Maui Wave to friend from wayyyyy back in the day today and we are both very excited and then rested until three. Not feeling well at all today … very fatigued and down, blue, although I was cheered by the bright leaves along the walkway when I went to the garage to gather the foam to wrap the painting. It’s just one of those things I guess. My birthday is in two days and I’m like, meh. I do think I will cheer up. I’m very happy with sending off the painting to my friend and I had a great week last week, a great weekend … love the new painting …

Finished Buddha Standard Time in a good way, and I highly recommend it. It has helped me to refocus on my breath, to listen to time in an old way again, to Nature. For example, I was able to wait until the Sun shone on my face this morning before getting up. Well, it was a good start. I’m lucky that way. But I was still really down this morning and it took some doing to get out of bed. Wierd dreams overnight. Just don’t feel well. Whatever. Who does at this age? Not sure. Stop whining already. shhhh. Anyway, the Sun felt great on my face. I felt lucky, and it was a good start after all. Chipper was dreaming beside me in his chair. I will say, without spoiling anything for you all, that one can send one’s, spend one’s, energies to the world locally and globally for the good and make a difference, and why not? It’s worth a try after all. Apparently the world moves in cycles, there is this chart at the end that is rather fascinating that if you’re ever in the literal bookstore and find the literal, tangible BOOK in your hand, you should flip to the back to SEE — of how the world, the wars, the discoveries, the changes, go in fluxes (word?) ebbs and flows — as it were — so it is somewhat hopeful that we can right the world.

So I gave the book to Jason, in the kitchen where he is making Chicken Gumbo for the week for us, which turned out YUM! by the way — good job! and am hopeful that the book will help him as well — I learned a lot more than breathing and respect for time and Nature and hopefulness — a good read —

to pick up my next book, or one of my next books … Deepak Chopra’s Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul. Tall order, I must say. I’m reading the Intro and it slides right into the ending of the last book about how there is hope to change the world, our lives, and EVERYTHING. Wow. So I’m boggled almost immediately, because Chopra’s verbage is far more complex than the previous book, and I have to stop and chew with my brain a while and meditate.

There’s when the problem starts, with which I’m dealing a lot today. I should journal, but I’m blogging a bit today on this subject, and I spoke with Jason about it last night. Kay. My soul versus my spirit. My spirit is all light, spiritual, made of light, not of the body, can run around, escape, turn corners, go all through the universe, dream, journey, come back and tell me stuff, evanesce, be metaphysical, more surreal, dip down but not drop, laugh, giggle, bubble — get it?

My soul, on the other hand, is more rooted, of this life, of other lives? if I’ve had them, bound to time somehow, a prisoner of something, the past? the future? wrecked? in pain? ravaged? feels things, of the body, can scream, or would anyway, can also dream, and curse, more of the nightmare sort, with chains, make sense? would like to be free?

so yesterday reading about the soul — my spirit and my soul kind of looked at each other and were like, what do we do with THIS book? we were cool with the Buddha book because it’s all spirit, but the direct mention of the SOUL — well, that’s something else entirely — so we must be thinking on this

hence today’s Blues …

but … nonetheless … throughout the previous book there were encouragements to be free, to release, the past, the pain, to observe — I’m good at observing — dissociating — it’s how to be at one with … my soul?

?

yesterday Jason was able to smoke a fine cigar that a friend sent him as a special treat and the house smells of fine cigar box kind of — it was good good good to wash up this morning doncha know but still — like some kindly uncle of the nicest sort visited —

a lovely weekend … we recorded Wild Country well and will try for Dust Radio and Bordertown at some date to be determined in the near future — had dinner with a friend headed to New Zealand (!) for a month soon at PF Chang’s (yum!) on Sat night and a lovely birthday brunch (!) yesterday at the Comus Inn, followed by a visit to the punkin man and Lewis Orchards — a beautiful drive through the countryside on a lovely day, laughing and laughing silliness — good times

so this oneness — when I observe it is with my awareness — more a stillness that underlies my spirit, a calmness, my meditator, kind of beside, maybe under my soul — kind of emotionless — yeah — I can get away from emotional pain and physical pain even with it — it helps me a lot — gives me a break —

but it seems like my soul is at the root of my spine — my root chakra — not my brain — I wonder if I should try shifting my awareness to different chakras — ? we shall see — I need to heal them all still — lots of work to be done with the crystals and such — hmmm — stay tuned

thank you for listening — it has helped my SPIRITS to blog this afternoon — like journalling — so I appreciate the venue — Happy Autumn!

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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