In great spirits today, and not so achey, although there is always the residual pain, physically and emotionally. Got up fairly early, at 6:30, because I started having flashbacks of waiting to be picked up from the babysitters and it was making me really restless. Coffee, emptied the dishwasher … getting into the flow of the day … Jason was dear enough to make pancakes and we watched an old movie on TCM kind of mindlessly, waking …
We are about a third of the way through watching the French The Sleeping Beauty, which also was making me restless last night and we had to stop before bedtime. Netflix is great on the one hand because since I have PTSD we can stop at any time, but it is bad for Jason because we can’t watch movies all the way through very often. Great deal though. Next is the next Pirates movie — ar! Just added The Artist to the queue.
I have to write more today, have to get back into the story, the healing parts, the fragile healing of Rebekah’s intimacy and lovemaking parts. Then I can get more to the plot and fantasy parts again — woo! Then I’m almost done!
Hey I think I’ll be writing less about what I wear — it kind of blurs this time of year anyhoo — ? you’ve gotten the idea by now anyway? (Boy won today!)
Practicing singing in a bit for vocals today and tomorrow. Hoping for at least two quality keepers this weekend, four if we’re lucky? Ha! Loco Girl is my goal. I think we have Indian Summer, Solid Iron Heart, Scrapyard Lullaby. We shall see. I was singing along to Radiohead in the bath, yum, all spooky and my voice became unshaky, unscrappy, clarified and felt great again. Like flying in a way.
Have meditated on my breath and heart several times, very tentatively, briefly here and there since the last time I blogged. Much clearer. Will keep trying. Want to get back to praying for the world, seeing it as a whole pulsing perfection tending toward health, hopefully, sending it positive vibes. When I was in college I would spend hours and hours thinking of development strategies that would really work to help save the world. Grameen Bank, microfinance. That’s a great idea. One of the best IMHO. And meditation. I can’t dwell on things political much further anymore although I do sign petitions a lot, then let them go on their merry way.
Practicing singing now to Patty Griffin’s 1000 Kisses, just finished Be Careful, now Long Road … Jason encouraged me to start sipping some Avalon Cabernet, now for Nobody’s Crying, which always reminds me of my first husband, a brilliant and tragic man … I wish him well wherever he may be … that reminds me of the Eat, Pray, Love movie scene where they are dancing and she sends her exes the Light … that was really a relief for me … and Tomorrow Night … so poignant … I love singing the harmony on Mil Besos, rowrh …
Now switching albums to Impossible Dream, … Standing … Children Running Through, … Trapeze … Heavenly Day …. I like singing the impossibly high accompaniment but I need to practice the melody so I sing both — I like knocking my head back like a bird and getting some volume on — I think the neighbors like it best — poor dears having to listen to me warm up to the same songs every time every couple weeks or so —
Now listening to Chris Whitley’s Loco Girl to get a feel for it again. It’s so different from what I’ve been singing. Checked the mail outside. It’s a different world out there. Somewhat dissociated now. Okay. Love him. Miss him. Here goes … Well after five times that went well, but I keep dissociated in association with character of the song, the loco girl, if that makes sense. So that will be a challenge.
Indian Summer run through with the Chris Whitley version, now for the Dennis Nielsen recording.
So we’re going to record tomorrow.
Now for painting. Then resting, then writing.
The painting is almost done I think. It’s rocking back and forth, torque-wise, and it feels good, but I’m feeling that it is close to completion. Almost ready to start the new one. What do you think?