Woke up several times in pain last night and from 3:30 on could not find comfort. Took the round of meds for it, to no avail. Woke Jason at 5 am asking what else to do? He said to just get on up. So I did. So strange day since then when 10 am seems like noon and well, noon seems like four or something.
In addition, have been flooded with flashbacks from all decades, I suppose because of the sleep deprivation? Also I painted last night and I don’t remember painting it. So I’m a bit askew from dissociation. Hmm. Hot pink and chartreuse? Hmmm. Not where I was headed initially. Having a time getting into the painting now.
Still in considerable pain all ’round, inside out. Sipping a bit of red wine, hoping to smooth things out. Who knows?
Heard from my counselor last night as she comes back into touch after her vacation. Sooo good to hear from her and know that she is back with me on Tuesday. Started to email her about the flooding today since usually when it goes on for hours at a time I’ve had some serious chunk of new memories, but for the life of me, what else, who else could it be? I just think it’s sleep deprivation and physical pain.
We went out first thing and got our new artificial Christmas tree, which was great fun. I cleared the dining room table off as much as I could while Jason got groceries. There is so much new artwork surrounding the table, and old books sans ISBNs for sale we hope, stacked thereupon, that we have our work cut out for us to clear the rest of the space for tomorrow’s decoration party, the two of us. More fun though. We also treated ourselves to a Yankee Candle, Balsam and Cedar! Love that scent combination — transportive.
I’ve had some numbness in the left hand and that arm is rather shaky so it’s hard to rely on it, as I have had to switch to it more these days. The right arm is not doing so well, either. Trying to be patient. I have a follow-up appointment with the spine doctor at 2ish on Thursday to review the MRI, so it will be good to have the info. I like to look at the films but of course know not what I see.
The washer just ate one of the good comforters, damnit. I may be able to sew up the gash, maybe when I’m better enough. ARgh. The washing machine noise is stressing me out, but Jason says it’s just distributing the weight. I believe him but it’s PTSD.
We abandoned our book selling project for now — Janvier? — and put all the books back on the shelves from the table. The dust — ack ack! and then we had room to put the paintings back in the corner there. Now there is even room for new paintings! How can that be? We are both exhausted from the effort, heh! but tomorrow we can decorate with abandon.
Was able to find something I liked in the painting to enhance and am liking it now, thankfully. Looks like a BIG greeting card or something. For the rest of it, I imagine a parade of lovely colours … waves … I am liking the word undulate …