Wild Peony III – I

So we went with the blue reindeer sweater for Chipper this chilly morning after he was so cold yesterday? and he sweated this morning. He became a little slowski ball. Poor dear. I’m drying off the steaming sweater now. He’s fine but maybe he’s lost a few pounds? Well, those Christmas treats are just around the corner … heh

Me, on the the other hand, just fine, toasty, achey, needing the walk to up my perspective from blues. Bathies did help a great deal, and looking forward a great deal to physical therapy today to see what we can diagnose and focus on to treat, exercises? yoga? please? I think getting back to activity and flowing would do me a great deal of good. Yoga especially.

Deepak Chopra is saying in his book, as I said before, about these daily epiphanies, to expect them. The way I’m reading that is like refinding your breath several times a day, is like refinding your bliss, your balance, your zone, peace, grace, ground zero, the distance, the place where you can sit back and see what you’re doing with your life, your observer. The best place. I also was joking yesterday and wanted to post it to Facebook but didn’t think it would translate: don’t fight the power, that is the coat hanger tangle, that is, whatever your tangle is, the traffic tangle. Whatever. Don’t fight it. Be it. Be in the middle of it. Can’t tell you how much that has helped me, a novice driver again in traffic after so many many years driving in traffic. Now I’m a newbie because I’m so out of practice, the instincts, the grooves, so it’s best for me to lay low, to lay in the middle of the vein of traffic. Especially in the merge during the rain. Anyway. I’m not fighting, I’m going with the flow.

Going to set my palette now for the new painting and part of me wants to put the tiniest bits of true color down and tons of white. But I know better. I’m wilder than that. I need the wild. I’m not needing restraint but wildness. I think most of us need wildness, too. So I’m painting for all of us. If anyone wants a subtle painting, call me and I’ll make up something special. ‘Til then, I’m painting on the wild side.

Back from counseling, before physical therapy. It’s warmed up outside, very nice actually, fresh. My counselor said that I should see myself as having survived a kind of cult experience, having been brainwashed to participate, and not to tell on my abusers. That makes sense, but it’s particularly creepy to think about. Some kind of pretty cult. It will take time to sink in to my perspectives, the perspectives of my various memory selves, I can tell. I can also tell that it is helpful, as it is shaking down, like some kind of painful, healing salt.

Now I’m back from physical therapy and she did some great, thorough measurements, etc. so I feel thoroughly checked out, in terms of what is wrong. In addition, she adjusted my neck and shoulders and I got some immediate relief. HOOORAY! And she gave me tips on how to do yoga again. Hooray yet again.

And now I must paint, to fulfill my daily mission.

There, it’s part musical instrument, part peony …

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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