Really enjoying the development of this painting … using a 10 Princeton Bright brush for it, so it is going rather quickly, which is smooth and nice, though I have to watch myself on the sensual curves. Sketching it and painting it now is like a dance.
Woke up in a tremendous amount of pain at 4 am and had to take meds for it. Just temporary, a process I remind myself. You see I was so very proud of myself for coming off the percocet several weeks ago. But I’m reassured by many on my team that this is perfectly OK. Still feels kind of wierd. Okay.
Had a challenging session of therapy today. We talked through the feelings surrounding my acceptance (and not) of my clean heart. It is still hard for me to feel as though I deserve one. So we went all over that. That is my homework, to continue to meditate on that. It is complicated but we also went over the alter geography for the various abusers and their acts in relation to the clean heart and although it is rather interesting how they fall out, there is no way I can explain it to you here. Not just because they are Namelesses, but because I’m not clear as to why they fell out the way they are dissociated.
So, meditations on rosy and white cleansing light. Yum. I do deserve it, as does everyone, from a Buddhist perspective, truly, from a whole perspective.
And I was happy to vote today. Quite. Oh, the power, the simple power. Proud I am. I cannot express to you how much, how deeply, I believe in pure democracy. It’s even ingrained in Rebekah’s Closet, believe it or not. Yeah. Go there.
Chipper was quite pensive, reflective, or something on our walkies today, and we were in no rush, so I let him … muse … he deserves his outdoor time as much as we all do … it’s a lovely time of year, so why not stop and smell, whatever is in the air? Spring! Enjoy where you are able!