And she is done! I must say that I am finishing her at just the right moment — the perfect balance between longing to be done and not wanting to be done, a feeling of weightlessness as the colors fell into place by themselves really.
Another shipment arrives today, so great timing. Another wild peony sketch will begin tomorrow — I’m beginning to understand what I’m doing with them more, as I start number ten. Are you?
Woke up in a great deal of pain in the middle of the night — the muscle spasm at the base of the left side of my skull – bah — had to adjust my sleep around it — and then getting up, it wrapped itself with muscles to the left front of my head to my eye — yow! no choice really, I thought, but to take pain meds. Two percocets left. Yow indeed. Not a good situation.
But I finished the painting and it was a beautiful distraction …
Then went to counseling, which I knew would be heavy today, armed with a journal page full of a guilt list, a list of things I feel guilty for: which I shan’t name, which in truth I shouldn’t feel guilty for, turns out. But after the session, I’m sorting through the rather tightly wound balls o’ shame and trying to place them back to the abusers where this all started. And they fit. But it’s very hard work. So, it’s work I must do to be free. So, there.
A beautiful day, the garden is already growing, and canvases will come. I am blessed to be free. Thank you.