Wild Peony X – I, Consider the Circumstances

That’s what she said, Consider the circumstances. See, in counseling these days we’re trying to resolve loads and loads of guilt I’m still carrying around for all these perfect storms of actions and breakdowns … in the past years … college … sigh … see, I entered the private school over the public school, choosing the more studious experience, thinking I would be more academic, would marry some great guy and have two kids … not, what happened, three marriages later and defying the child option for art and work …  and still wondering what the eff happened to my studious double major sometimes … which I know, I know somewhere deep down was the perfect storm as my counselor says, actually perfect storm number … ? of ? … when and what to count … who is counting?

Alas … a great session today … consider the circumstances and don’t compare yourself to the norm, to the ideal, to the standard for you are none of those … you are you … what was it the last time I counted ? ? seven? eight abusers and more than twenty personalities? okay so how many breakdowns and you have trouble forgiving yourself for not making good grades? come on, Amy. So we’re doing that sort of thing, but on more serious subjects. Bag o’ shame I carry around. Don’t need it. She said I’ll need a rock to tie to my ankle to ground me I’ll be so light in comparison when we’re done.

I said I do have a hard time knowing how it feels to not be full of guilt but meditating has helped tons, Deepak Chopra books help me tons. Was just reading great stuff in the waiting room, in fact. Thank you so much Mr. Chopra!

Listening to Ceremonials by Florence and the Machine for the first time and it seems so very appropriate — yay! Have another doctor appointment at four to go over my bloodwork. Slept like a cloud with earplugs last night thanks to Jason last night and I had no idea what that would be like — gorgeous silence! La Chupacabra stormed, tantrummed and torrented, lo she stomped above and nothing, nothing to me and my sleep. Lo.

Hurray! and Friday!

So this is the beginning, kind of like shells … I like it … can’t recommend this album enough … now to rest for a little while with Chipper before the appointment … Happy Friday!

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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