Hanakapiai Beach – VII

Counseling was good today though it made me a lotta dizzy. Powerful. I’m going to write a letter to someone who betrayed me when I tried to disclose the abuse, and bring it to counseling next session. We shall see if I send it. We shall see if it ruffles a feather, makes a sound, garners a response. Who knows? But it is worth doing. She said, Why do you feel the need to encourage the man to make sure he educates others not to do what he did in similar circumstances? So that it doesn’t happen to someone else. So that it doesn’t happen again. She said, Why can’t it just be about you? For once? Aren’t you good enough? Yes, I said. You are an idealist, she said. I am, I can’t help it. It can be both in the letter. Both/and. She laughed/we laughed.

We also discussed how I started off as an extrovert and ended up as a severe introvert as an adult. Hmmm. More on that later.

Then I went and picked up prescriptions, where they were super, uberbusy at the Safeway.

Came home and fed Chipper and me and walked him. His limp is bad today. Yesterday I upped him to the two pills every twelve hours as originally prescribed and he hardly skipped a beat drowsy-wise and hardly limped at all for yesterday morning’s walkies. I was thrilled. I thought maybe this was it, you know? Like, that’s all he needed. But today, it’s bad again even with the two pills. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking he’ll never go on long walkies with me again. That I’ll have to start building long walkies into my own routine, by MYSELF. Okay, I know I said that last week. I know. Facing that is might hard. I’ll get to it. Right now the extra time is going to the Open House. And I’ve gone back on the Simvastatin for the high cholesterol and feel tons better already, three days in. So, that’s a help for being less active off the bat. But still.

Then I went to Novel Places in Clarksburg, MD and dropped off two copies of Rebekah’s Closet for the owner to try to sell, and a few bookmarks. We shall see. He also gave me a list of local bookstores and names, so I’m ON that in the next few days to get out there with the effort to get the book into local stores and with local book signings. We … shall … see. I’ll let you know what comes of my efforts.

Now … to paint! Clouds! My favorite!

That’s all I can do for today, must rest me bones now. Savvy?

We watched the excellent, must-see by the whole world asap documentary Reel Injun last night. Mmmkay?

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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