Okefenokee II – XII

It’s almost there — I’m wanting to make foliage now. More foliage!

Splitting headache the past few days. Not sure what to do. Don’t want to go up on the Topamax. Harumph. Not really stressed about anything. Have in fact been destressing by meditating more. Hmmm? Could be the time of year apparently. So I’ve been using this lovely heating pack made by Therapearls and when it’s cooled off of my base of neck thoroughly, which is much needed, I wrap it over my forehead. Feels great. Doesn’t make the headache go away, but feels awesome.

Got the GoogleEbooks to accept a PDF for now so it’s like Live in many countries, just so you all may know whereever you are, Canada, Australia, Italy, UK, France, Italy, Spain, Germany, Japan, South Korea … forgetting where else, but it’s there. It’s THERE! Read on! Had to add tax per your countries’ requirements though, I might add. Or not.

So that’s cool.

Chipper continues to love us by following us from room to room. I tell him he is a good friend for doing so. Now he has just gone to bed to wait for me there. He knows me well.

There was a pool party that was almost rained out today except they had it anyway. Jason was sick though and I slept through it. Bad of us. But I did go over and thank them for having it for us and got us a plate of food and made an appearance, running through the rain, covering the plate with one hand, for all of ten steps, as it’s next door, the rental and business center. Walked Chipper by the pool after that but things hadn’t really kicked off, and came home to promptly fall asleep. Must have needed it. Feel bad though, because they put so much time into it. Oh well. Tomorrow is supposed to be lovely. But for a day, you know.

Also tomorrow we go to brunch at the Comus Inn, which we love, a continuation of Jason’s birthday celebration, maybe some pool time after. Depends on my head, of course. So maybe some late-day painting and blogging, fyi. Sorry for the late posting today. Better late than never, eh?

My shoulder hurt a lot over night and woke me up, but Tylenol put me back to sleep and so far it’s not hurting today but I haven’t lifted much. It’s the lifting of the purse in the car to the left, the challenge. I’m sure the shot worked just fine. 🙂 We shall see.

Meditating went much better today, and last night. Still have the alters fighting it, for whatever reason, but they are just going to have to CHILL. It’s not like I’m asking them to DO anything. I’m just observing them. They are just more aware of themselves when I meditate and they are touchy, anxious beasties I guess. Not sure. It’s so strange not to know my selves any better than I do.

That is another thing about having 20 and more personalities — being more of a stranger(s) to myself most of the time, than I would like. Having to keep reintroducing myself to myselves. I kind of like being dissociated, because I don’t feel as much, but then when I come back I have to get reacquainted and sometimes, lots of times, I am lost to myself/es. Or, sometimes I am quite fine and aware and suddenly feel lost and dissociated for no apparent reason. That is quite offputting I must say. I do spend some great deal of time like a mother or a hostess or a big sister coaching or introducing myself to new alters who arrive disoriented into now/my world/the present time and say, It’s okay, You’re safe, You don’t have to experience that abuse anymore, Thank you for letting me know that detail/information. You can tell me all you want, though, but you are safe to snuggle in. I’m so and so. If I know, you see. Sometimes it gets muddy and we just blend and breathe and get quiet. Just feel. Sometimes we just get overwhelmed and feel together until the feelings pass. That’s why I spend a lot of time in bed, don’t you know. That’s one of the reasons I don’t work anymore. I have a lot of alters/flashbacks all day. That’s why. That’s not something I can just say to people when they say, So you don’t work anymore?

I usually just state the also obvious and less disconcerting, lower back, neck, hands aching — hard to sit or stand for long periods of time — which is also true — the migraines. Alla that.

Well.

Chipper’s waiting.

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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