Now this painting took very little time, and that kind of drives me crazy. See, I think paintings should take enormous amounts of work. Strive, strive, strive for your art. I’m a martyr by training, from way back. But Wreck, above, not so. With great strength of will, I left it alone. I did. I pulled back. I splattered and did the pencil work and let her go. Back AWAY from the painting. Some patrons at the opening said they thought it was my best one. That is excruciating to hear, but thank you. I mean, five minutes of work. You know what I mean?
In terms of technique, what? Big brush, very little tint. Very strong will, very clear intent, very bold dream state. Then stand back. Do very little.
Now, for what it is, when I came out of the dream state, it was a flash on the wreck(s) that I had later. I heard crashing and breaking of things. I’ve only had two serious wrecks. The one fender bender doesn’t count. Just a fender, seriously. The time in the Grand Am when I got swiped in the back running a yellow light while listening to great African music, I can make this! no, that huge black shadow is a car! rutro. But I’m late to the poetry reading. Hmm. And then the hydroplaning car wreck when I totaled said Grand Am with Underwater in the car, when I was going under the speed limit on a glazed right angle down a hill, into a forest. Boo.
Wreck. Skid. Crash, go boom. No me likey. Now I’m early all the time. No rush, no fuss. I am just dissociated. Effing a. I’m safe as I can be. As possible. I try not to go far anymore. That sucks, like an old lady. I’m hoping this phase will pass.
I wrote 615 odd words on The Front Porch just now! Feels like a river flowing and then it stops. That is the way it should be. I feel like more will come today. Hooray!
I went back to bed after walking Chipper straightaway with a slight fever and serious achies. The first half of the day was sick. Started doing light yoga because there seemed to be no other treatment for my body. It called out for stretching. Horrible gastric cramping. Bah. Hate it. So Yoga to the rescue. Child’s pose and I love each other.
The new music report: Cat Power’s Sun: beyond brilliant; Bombino’s Agadez: oh my but they are priceless and so glad they are recording out there in Niger; Dave Matthews’ new one: so just what I need spiritually, socially, politically — Muse: I’m still listening? Vampire Weekend’s first is brilliant brilliant — yay!
So my everything hurts. More rest. Less dissociated tho. More present. Hurray for that. Maybe that’s why I could write?