Ready to Live VII Finitti

readytolive7Finitti happens! Yesterday I couldn’t see my way through to the finish line on this one but today, I wouldn’t say it was clear, but I had the gumption. I’ll say that. I added fine dots in the flowers of a pale rust, then finer dots of pale yellow within them. I circled them with a wild pink. No, not enough. I highlighted and structured, STRUCTURE, I said, getting up close and personal to the lowest blasted flower, and bringing that same sort of geometry UP. With palest yellow and pink, I went back and forth, erasing and highlighting. Then, I went for the blue green flowers, only to feel that I’d really messed the piece up. Whoa! So I made some bold white stripes for accent, then some bold bright pink stripes. She was basically done!

I noticed that in several places I needed to strengthen my initial strokes, so I did that with dark green, etc. only to then notice that the layers of green had tanned my other colors, so I brought them forward again, the deep pink, the dark red, the dark caput mortem, the rust stripe.

Fortunately, once I was done, the final fixative spray brought out the colors of everyone. However, there was a DRIP! NO! at the upper left corner. Once it dried, I came back with deep pink, which looked pale in comparison, and fortunately, with a brush, it is a nice highlight.

As you see, nothing is a given in art. You have to go with the flow and a) not expect perfection, and b) not expect anything at all. Heh.

This morning I just was like glued to the bed. Nothing, nothing could get me out. Nothing. I don’t really know, except for Chipper’s dear sake, which you would have thought would have gotten me out before then, what got me out at 10! am! Lord! I still feel guilty. Such as it was, I walked him joyfully, as he walked joyfully, and we started our day as such, it was. Weird and surreal. Guilty!!! But time is time. After all.

I fed him his lunch, and we went back to bed. I read an article in Yoga Journal, rather finished one I had been recently unable to finish. Then reflected on it for some time in the bed.

About 12:30 pm I began to get some energy. I called about some healthcare things for Jason and that took some time. I painted and finished the painting thusly, then sprayed.

It’s a gray, warm, could just rain, but is not going to, just isn’t anything really day, Monday. It’s a productive day. But … ida know … something effed up about it. I mean, if it was a Wednesday and I was glued I would just chalk it up, but usually I’m more hyped up about the start of a week. Oh well. See how I bash myself about the Puritan ethic and stuff, not even giving myself credit for a) arranging Jason’s healthcare thingy and b) finishing and posting the painting? and well c) finishing the YJ article and d) resting?

I am hereby giving myself a break, trying to shed the enormous guilty guilt I still feel. Bah. Whish me lucke.

 

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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