Ready to Live IX – V

DSC_4348I started a second palette just for the sky. I put down Cobalt Blue, Pthalo Blue (sp?) and Prussian Blue, and big dollops of Titanium White, one for each, and an extra one for Cobalt Blue. Mixing heaven but does take the time to mix well, wash the brush after each one, etc.

Then painted with the palest Cobalt Blue mix of sky, then the Pthalo Blue (Green shade) mix. Worn out. More for another day and also time to study the painting.

Had to rest after walkies. Didn’t sleep well last night. Counseling today filled me with challenge and stirred up the alters with Jungian identity component terms and was so overwhelming I came home and rested to get some clarity. Took some good time to settle down and get a clear thought. Really.

Hard to describe. I mean, it’s good that I can relate to his model, and that I fit it, that I don’t feel so alien to the mental world of normality anymore. Because his structure is free-floating in a state of collective unconscious, it works for the collective pizza of my psyche. Hey, wrong term. But hey, it works for me right there.

As I’ve been connecting in unity and Oneness with these alters since Friday, also, I’ve been processing and releasing more emotional pain, guilt and shame, self-acceptance, you name it, a gamut of stuff to sort through, kind of all at once, after the fact, as you have it … all over the place … pizza makes sense to me. See?

But more emotions overlaying my usual territory, which is no easy place, so I’ve been focusing on breathing and releasing. A lot. It has been helping but I’ve been wanting to cry a lot in sudden spurts and then it goes seconds later. Eep!

Happy to have the skill and haven of meditation. I lit the pillar candle on the altar and thought, Please help me with my transition. I lit it again today, and just went in to find Chipper gazing at it. 🙂

 

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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