Rage III – VI

DSC_4576Today I painted with a new dark green mix, from Chromium Green and Hooker’s Green, of which I have a tad left. Same for the dark, Sap Green. It’s almost black-looking in the photo, but not in real life. LIFE, I say. I wish you could see these paintings up close. I say.

Then, fairly exhausted, I continued, with red.

I also wrote a fair amount today on The Front Porch today, 1716 words!

I am doing much better, in terms of overall weepiness. But I had a new memory this morning from high school this morning. Shakes head. Jeez. And my Mother knew about this one. An almost nightly thing. For real.

It sickens me, and I remembered this in the tub. I told Jason afterwards, all dressed up I was in glittering peach camisole and long peach cotton maxi skirt, peach bracelet, crystal bracelets, putting on my makeup … I feel dirty and I am so clean, I said. I remember feeling this way. It’s common. Bleah.

Sigh.

But … however, as it were, I feel soooo much better than I did yesterday, so we  are getting somewhere with this processing and vetting of stuff. STUFF. Because Prozac takes two weeks or so. Thank you. Yes.

So, I’ll take the progress and work on my Attitude and Perspective, thusly.

Sigh. Heh.

I’m like the weather today, partly Sunny. The clouds come and then it’s Sunny again. I’ll take it.

Flashbacks and sense memories though, all day. Utter emotional and physical exhaustion.

Even so, still with the progress also on the back. Hips didn’t hurt as badly overnight, slept well with fun dreams. Developing the ability to walk, although I am such a space cadet walking, I don’t know where I am half the time. Bah. But I can walk if I don’t think about it. It’s like, do I have hips? shh, don’t tell her.

The novel progresses well in terms of story and I’m in a part that I dreaded and it goes better than expected. Flows. So that’s good, too. July is tomorrow.

Last day of June. Wow. Phooosh. That is time going by. No, it’s gone by. That’s how it is. Without you looking or knowing. But it does, that lovely month of June, right? I tried to savor it, and I think I did fairly well this time. A lovely day.

Righto. Over and out. Better tomorrow. See the Hematologist at ten am to check on ye olde iron count in ye olde bloode systeme. ? We shall see. I’m curious. Are you? Heh. Funny.

 

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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