Ready to Live XV – I

DSC_4826Here, instead of where I thought a while ago I might begin the reds and ochres of the outer shell, I have completed the mountain layers below.

These are all straight from the tube.

First I used a 6300B Princeton Bright brush to create the lines in Mars Black, which for some reason felt Georgian Gothic. Kind of a New Orleans or Savannah grille. ?

I don’t know where that came from.

Maybe the shells, Savannah?

Anyhoo, then I put in the Naples Yellow, Red Oxide, Burnt Umber, Mars Black and Raw Umber, in that order. It was a lovely, smooth experience. I used a Simply Simmons Flat Wash brush to smooth the rough places in the Red Oxide. I made a zig zag in the surface just for fun of the Mars Black surface to the far middle left.

My back, killeth.

Last night I could hardly sleep, thinking over every detail of the day. I used to do that every single day. I could not let it go. I’m doing it a slight bit today but not as badly.

Today Karl Straub came by and recorded guitar parts for Standing in the Doorway by Bob Dylan and working on his orignal songs more, recording guitar and vocals, background vocals for those. I feel like we are a creative home, truly, painting while they are in there making music.

We take Chipper’s collar, so all I can hear are his sighs and his ears flapping from time to time when he comes to visit me in the studio, or from in the hall.

So very down today. It is absolutely perfectly beautiful outside and it touches me so much. I feel like a stranger. Yesterday’s hearing for disability was very hard on me, because I bared my soul and I have now the absolute unknown before me, waiting for the written decision for four to eight weeks. It is possibly the biggest submission I have ever cast to the wind, an enormous fate. We can appeal, but I feel very raw and numb because of it, shocked from the experience, as if there had been some sort of death, when actually it was the realization of a great deal of truth. I am at the mercy and I am safe, simultaneously, but it means a very great deal indeed. It’s as if all the alters testified.

I suppose it will take a few days to stabilize.

Tomorrow sweet things will happen, and I’m enjoying the painting. Another night’s sleep, a roast chicken with apples, the sounds of football Sunday, the lovely weather, Chipper, walking and loving on him and Jason.

More yoga, more meditation, more connection to Nature and the changing seasons and what it means — go more deeply into rootedness … eh?

 

About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s