I have also noticed I’ve become a bit painterly to the left. Hmm. Me likey. Painterly being defined by me as keeping the original stroke, one spontaneous stroke at the time. Kind of baroque, as it were. That’s what it felt like.
Yesterday I got out my update email and finished some administrative details which got me way tired in the first half of the day, and then I rested. Or tried to, actually working on various muscle groups, and parts of my brain, saying or thinking, rather (I get a bit confused on the latter at times), Please rest now. Directly. I had a spasm and continue to have the residual, in my neck, to the right? No clue why, woke up with it yesterday morning.
So I remembered this lovely thing in the middle of the night. At church camp in elementary school, we had an overnight stay there and I was showering in the morning, or something, and was the last to leave the shower, when I saw a Lunar Moth. Now, not knowing what it was, and never having seen one since, and if you’ve never heard of one before (google it?) you can imagine that I did think an unearthly creature had landed there, for I stood there trembling for some time, respectfully, not touching or disturbing it, in quite the AWE.
It was huge, almost as big as my itty head at the time, for I was about ten years old, or what I thought was the size of my head, you know? And the round spots on the wings were all the way blue and deeeeeep and the size of what I thought to be the size of my eyes at the time.
I of course couldn’t stand there forever, as I wanted to. Instead I had to run along and join the group for whatever, breakfast, ? and be scolded for being late, which was proper. However, what I took away from it was that I was someone special to have seen it at all, and that I was the one to have seen it and not hurt it in any way, knowing how kids touch things, beside themselves, knowing how I wanted to, myself, and did not.
My counselor suggested I meditate on it sometimes if I want. 🙂
Also, today I started the new book, The Five Things We Cannot Change: and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them, by David Richo. At first I was definitely NOT embracing the task of reading the book, but it more than grew on me, a) because of the writing style, b) because it makes common sense that he is a counselor and has found these commonalities in all his years of therapy among HUMANS, timesaver? yes; c) it is largely, not completely, based on Buddhist spiritual teachings. SOLD.
Now a lot of it, as I’m reading, is stuff I’ve already literally accepted through years of counseling myself, which bears repeating and relearning in new ways, I suppose, right? Basically, you are given a set of parameters in your life, we all are, unique and common ones (these five he sets out, for example) — and we either fight these givens or embrace them. Now the positive givens are fairly easy to accept, unless you are like me and have trouble with that, (? long story about ego and self esteem), but the so-called negative ones, well of course — yow.
But, the negative ones are lessons in disguise. Yow, nonetheless. I know about that one. That set of givens. We all do. But you either fight or accept stoically (which I think I’ve done a lot of too much), or embrace. Now who wants to embrace abuse. Bah. Exactly. Therein lies the dilemma. So this is why I ready the booky.
Kay, so I started that today. Good, huh?
And Nature, as I was writing in my email update, could NOT be more inspiring or delicately and powerfully beautiful than it is right now. Right NOW. AMAZIng grace. Blessed. I can embrace that fully.
Time to walk Chipper, actually. Hee, timing, jingling of his collar, right … then. Take care. Have the fun! Oh!
If you’re in the NYC area tomorrow — you can see my artwork project a) on a skyscraper and b) on Monitor 4. 🙂 whee!