… so today I went after the cloud shapes … with some abandon, I must say … I mixed Neutral Gray with Titanium White and studied the original foto for some time, and then just went home with it … I love painting clouds … it’s so very exciting and scary and earthshattering all at the same time. Very frightening stuff. I love the geometry and trying to make them puffy.
Then I added some depth to the center, some magic trails here and there and then just had to step away from the painting, you know?
Saw the spine surgeon with Jason yesterday and it looks like April/May the screws come out on both sides, an outpatient surgery, if they’re still bothering me, which, if now is any indication, THEY WILL BE. Bloody hell. Is all I can say. I will be struggling I can tell you that.
I was laughing at the Five Things We Cannot Change booky wook for damned sure yesterday talking about pain. In the waiting room, right? Embracing it. Well, surely you can make things worse by obsessing and kvetching. Sigh. I try not to do that. But really. Chronic pain is part of my life for some good time now. Meditation is my friend.
But just now I was in bed and I wanted to scream.
I thought though, you know, if this is my lot, it could be much worse. It’s not life threatening. For example. So I’ll stop there. I am blessed.
Counseling was super good yesterday, too, in that I was able to vent my rage and sense of being USED by an abuser for many years. Ahhhh. That’s always good, heh. 🙂 Heh. No, really it was a great session.
I have had a severe muscular, tension, stressy headache since the memories came up on Monday night and it’s like please, someone get the pressure cooker to release in my head?
We also in session yesterday discussed the neurofeedback therapy option and there is a nice lady in Potomac, MD who I emailed after session. I am super expectant for her reply, for an initial consultation, does she take Medicare, does she think she can help me, etc. ?? le sigh … again because of the pressure in my head … oh well, all in due time. If she responded without due consideration that wouldn’t really be appropriate, now would it?
Very excited about the Vietnam Jungle Series. Next up is a great foto, which I shall show you in the next bloggy blog. Er, post. It is dreamy, old jungle growth. You’ll see. Magical.
So, until then, take care, and, put your mask on, already! Happy Halloween! (wearing glitter meself!)