Vietnam Jungle V – I

I’ve decided to paint in the dark green, almost black, but really Sap Green/Mars Black mix in this case, foreground foliage first. Say that three times fast. It’s really delightful. Each leaf is different.

The branches are Burnt Umber/Mars Black.

Had to stop due to back pain the second time and overwhelmment the first time.

Yesterday I did most of the painting and it was about the same for stoppages.

…

Reading in the Some Lessons in Metaphysics by Ortega y Gasset, … the normal orientation we have of knowing not to go through the wall but rather, the door — doors, portals (hee) —

and all of the massive amounts of orientation we get every single day of our lives this way and thataway and not to be SHEEP!

no

but sometimes it is good to be Zen while waiting in line and being in traffic — so, I do practice my 24/7 (key word — practice) meditative stance — in traffic and waiting in lines — hey, it’s just life, people

but not be herded like sheep – hey, nice day we’re having here! in line at the …

but to cast off loads and loads of unnecessary orientation and be all Zen and simplicity — what a relieeeef — truly — and be our true, wild, authentic selves — what the hell does that mean?

well, you are probably closer to understanding it than me, a person with many selves and hosts and such — so it is an uber-fun question for me

…

and then in the book also — being versus, although not necessarily and possibly congruently and tangentially — knowing

being

knowing

this gets us to the beginning of the discussion of metaphysics somehow …

but … being — okay for me this is relative — right?

knowing — consciousness — again, also relative — ha!

this is super-fun thinking for me — mostly conjectural and propositional but I thought I would share the subject matter with you —

now to be a bit more grounded, Ortega y Gasset does say that one may feel lost or disoriented — or oriented — with it — knowing the score as it were —

hip to it

heh

so — I used to just scramble for meaning in my life

I do so less and less since many years (10?) discovering the connection between meditation, Buddhism, cognitive behavior management and neuroplasticity — it gave me hope for my soul —

now, ten years later I see massive fruits from a) my/my counselors’ labors and b) medications — I do have to say both — I cannot CANNOT say one without the other and I believe science is coming around to that — medications alone cannot solve us when we are ill mentally — we need to help ourselves get out of our own loops, but we need help finding them i.e., talk therapy —

anyhoo — for a long period of my life I indeed felt very very lost and alone — to a certain extent because of what I have been through and the compartmentalization that I have created to survive, I may always feel alone ? I’m not sure —

but I do feel at ONE wit the universe/Nature and it is dawning on me more and more in recent days ! that my mind is a temple

that all of my hard work to clean and clear my mind, and maintain it spiritually, fill it with light and challenging fun thoughts, eh? can be framed with the thought of a temple —

my offerings of books and teachings are like bringing flowers to the temple of my mind

but then I realized today that the whole world is a temple

so no wonder I’m always smiling at everyone eh? that is where that instinct is coming from … my being to other beings …

and that is just it … I’m getting it, you all … Namaste!

 

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