First of all, here is my luscious palette as of now, with the evidence of much swirling of brushes, yes? I thought you might like this …
Secondly, here is the canvas as it is right at the moment …
I’m struggling quite a bit with the background, now that the major foliage from the preliminary sketch is complete. You see, I don’t want to lose the wonderful movement of that foliage, but I kind of am. Oh well. I can’t leave the background white.
I’m particularly liking the lower part of the canvas, which is the most therapeutic, most unscripted portion of the canvas, the most unconscious.
Note that I will definitely clean up the rough bits to the lower left — that is simply not neat enough.
Hey, so no blog for three days. That’s not like me. On Thursday I had to go to the post office, clean house for a friend and then entertain the friend, and there was no painting, so Thursday was straight out.
On Friday I had counseling and well, I was just in no mood after counseling to paint. I had the new memories about what would happen on vacations … so … needed to rest.
And then … the worst thing happened. A dear friend from high school passed away in her sleep on Friday … I found out on Friday night on Facebook and was just in a daze, hard to do anything at all yesterday and still somewhat … listless and grieving today.
They do not know the cause of death and are performing an autopsy. The blessed thing is that she was at a happy time in her life. So I’m very thankful for that, but she was plucked from this Earth too EARLY!!!!
She was incredibly sweet, cool beyond words, and wayyyy smart at math and science. She once told me that I was one of the reasons why the internet was fun. She would like my paintings in progress on Facebook frequently, and when her life was not going so well in past years, that made me happy, to cheer her, you know? Gah.
I mean …
Death is just so vicious sometimes. Incredibly so. Harsh beyond words even. I’m in shock still. It can’t be so, but it’s like the ultimate STOP. The ultimate brakes. END. No more and gone. Wait, no! But! But! I wasn’t done!
So, I’m not feeling so very well today emotionally, painting kind of like in a zone, in space, a zombie.
We did go for a short walk at Gunner’s Lake yesterday and the birds are so sweet. Chipper is sweet on his walkies as always.
The pool opened yesterday, and this morning I got there first thing and sunned until I felt the burn, after an hour, which was nice. The wind felt great, and listening to Bombino for a wee bit, was trippy beyond words as well. Just overwhelming my senses, really.
So that’s nice that I can go to the pool now, not get in, mind you, until it heats up, around July, right? heh
Gearing up for the poetry reading/open mic in July, speaking of that month, which is flying toward us … by inviting scores of folks. Looking forward very much.
Also planning a trip to Nashville to take industrial photographs and see dear dear friends. Very much looking forward to this — on the long weekend of June 20 …
Flashbacks are more intermittent again, and more of the Summer time period type. Fairly gross per usual. Some Vietnam. I’m getting more fluid, but I’m also getting dreamier at this time of year, which makes me dizzier, when I’m walking, and I’ve noticed my speech is off, my phrasing is bad, but Jason doesn’t care. He knows what I mean. Haven’t driven since Friday, but was fairly distracted then, by trees, light …
Have been doing yoga again twice a day and loving it. My neck and back still tweaky and better managed with the yoga. Losing the belly weight slowly but surely — ’tis the season. Not much to lose, but then I’m a perfectionist, and with these lighter Summer clothes, more revealing, and now a bathing suit!
Went to the apartment complex gym next door and worked out on the elliptical machine for all of 5 minutes and was careful not to pull quadricep and hamstring and shoulder muscles? gah … short of breath and felt great but rested before and after … heh … will be going back for more of that! high quality workout right next door!
You all, I’m just lacking for energy to say much more, except that in the Meditation for the Love of It book that I was able to read more of in the waiting room on Friday, Ms. Kempton wrote about the need to prepare yourself for the blissful state 24/7, not just during meditation time, by being mindful during meditation, and by having a meditation journal.
Cool, I like the thought of a meditation journal very much, although, I have two journals now that are lacking in attention … ? I have so much that I intend to do, you know … but I like the SOUND of a meditation journal. A spiritual journal, you know? heh
Anyway, I think I’m achieving the blissful state more 24/7 again … since beginning the book, because I do feel so much calmer, and much more affirmed in my beliefs, more deeply aware that God is (“God”) is everywhere. Nature, you know. Me. It. Everything. The ocean of existence. I feel very flowing and relaxed most of the time. I feel. I surely do.
Sigh. Feeling grief at the moment, but I know that is a process.
I also feel deeply the time of the season, which gives me incredible joy, and I do celebrate that with my very skin. It gives me great bliss.
I do hope you are finding your happiness in this moment, that somewhere the Sun is shining deeply into your soul. 🙂 Peace.