Rainforest I – I

DSC_5235I am really liking painting on a black canvas, I must say. There’s something about bringing out the light in something. It’s a bit creepy at times, too, reminding me a lot of a dark, Georgia night. Or Louisiana. Eep.

But this is the rainforest.

I tell you the watery/waterier or formerly so portions of the Southeast, with these bodacious trees blowing in the wind and the billowy clouds and storms, enough to drive you mad. Plumb mad, on their own. And then storms that’ll kill you.

Okay, I’ll stop.

This is the rainforest.

Maybe that is why ultimately I’m drawn to the wild.

I seek something, and I know something. Of it.

We all do.

You know you do.

There’s something magical and playful, and ridiculously terrifying about it that stirs our subconscious into wild dreams. Does me.

It’s fitting that the painting is teaching me new things about painting trees/Nature, is free in spirit, and is filling with Light and color as we go. It is a tribute after all …

Flashbacks have been very frequent during painting, with the actual age alters coming up and being during painting for some twenty minutes or so with the host TLC alternating. I had to be careful painting, but we both like trees so it was therapeutic in honor of beauty, eh? I just kind of went from my memory of the structure and texture of trees and it came forth.

I still have places to fix here and there, of course. Ha.

There are places where I was in and out. During some places I had enormous confidence about how to work with the paint, and sometimes fumbled, but felt better, less stress, then was fixing again, right?

Sometimes I was flying again. Then later I would stumble on those places and leave them alone.

I have to be careful not to destroy them when I dissociate, not to dissociate while I’m painting when my alters come up.

I can’t paint anymore right now because my lower back is giving me lots of pain. I must lay down. I’ve made my second cup of Sleepytime tea, which helps keep my stress/cortisol levels down for PTSD. Good tip, that.

So that’s where I’m headed at the moment.

 

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About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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