Rainforest I – VI

DSC_5373It’s all about the rocks today. I went back and added depth to them with a mix of Burnt Umber, a previous mix of brown (stuff, eh?), Neutral Gray, Raw Umber and Acrylic Glazing Liquid.

By the way, not by chance, but because I believe their quality (I could be wrong?) to be better, I choose all Golden products in paint and glaze. So, again I could be wrong, but a while (years!) ago I was told to pick one and stick to it, and I have done so.

Alas. and So. There.

I got a shipment from an unnamed, however, company today, and it was packaged so badly I will not order paint from them again. Bah. No wonder their paint looks so badly in the store as well. Bah. You buy paint where you want — I choose Blick Art Materials. Unless I need to tangibly buy something? I go to Plaza Art Materials — unless I need the quick tube, hardship tube, right? — Michael’s. Small tubes, overpriced. Bah.

Anyhoo.

So I painted with lots of glaze, lots of colors mixed for depth of … earthiness and originality — in my book — but reality, really — although the colors are lovely as they are, they are so fun to PLAY with in the MIX.

And there also I discover ways to SHAPE the rocks in ways I hadn’t dreamed possible.

sigh — lovely

I really am tired today. Have been this week, very achey.

Lots of flashbacks on Christmas, and my Granma J’s home today. Very shudderingly disturbing — they jolt me out of now in the worst way. Sorry alters, but you do. They’re sorry, of course, and not their fault, they mean no harm and have no control over coming up on me by surprise like that. They kind of fall up.

Weirdest, damnedest thing. Christmas in June, when it’s been all sickening beautiful beach movies lately. agh

Okay

But yesterday I had to do flash yoga after taking out two of what I considered to be light trash bags of multi and paper recycling to help out. Right. My back went out. To the left and yow but there was nothing for it but to drop down in to cat cow and do the full practice, and thankfully, it worked, but straight to bed for the rest of the day with an m.r. (muscle relaxant). and tea. Chipper was most delighted to hop up into bed and sleep while I tried to get comfortable, which was some doing.

Hmm.

Still quite jagged and ragged today. Very achey. A bit concerned about getting enough rest on my trip next weekend, and carrying my heavy camera bag to Nashville in the airport, etc. Hmm. It is what it is. I’m committed.

Heavy day tomorrow, also.

9 am cafe meeting to present fotos to friend from last Sunday.

Then, because I stubbed my right foot quite well this afternoon, a toenail polish change (!) emergency at the place, right? gah.

rest …

… 4-8 pm (!) volunteer duty (!) on my feet ish most likely for Art League of Germantown at art reception(s) at Black Rock Center for the Arts, which will go quickly but will need to rest up Sunday, eh?

whew

and I feel this way now, hee

so I did yoga four times yesterday it was so bad, right — once so far today —

but I was able to paint.

They came from a donations place to get some old furniture we couldn’t sell from the garage we’re downsizing in August (!) yay — but the garage door wouldn’t open although it had opened for me to get the car out two hours earlier (thankfully!) so they have to reschedule —

Had counseling, which was very good venting before that for an hour, although I had to drive in a sudden downpour with a red truck on my butt (why?) to get there. I so was talking to that red truck and trying to explain the speed limit and the rain … right?

So I’m in the appendices of the Meditation for the Love of It book now. Yay! I feel so gooooood! Okay, I feel like you really need to read the book, and meditate, right? to get the gist of it all, because I can’t BEGIN to take you there without that?

Really, truly. I cannot synopsize it enough, bliss. Truth within.

really now

But it’s for real.

great book = grok

Okay, enough said.

But there is a part near the end about taking three weeks in your own HOME to meditate on retreat, to really let meditation become part of your life — limiting TV and looking at your entire world there, your REALITY, your family, your friends, your LIFE — and looking at everything for three weeks. It’s all right THERE. Inside of you, actually.

I already can barely stand the television, mind you. But that’s largely my PTSD and the abuse history. SO much triggers me, you see, I can’t hardly stand a lot of it. Oh well, not a big loss in my book. But I love a lot of other stuff, mind you. Hey, you all, THERE IS LIFE OUTSIDE OF TELEVISION STILL. I thought you might want to know, in case you didn’t.

Nature is huge for me. Imagination.

Creativity. My studio. Meditation. The Internet. Music. Books. Does that sound boring? Gee, I hope not. eep.

So. She talks about how to manage the Kundalini energy, should you come across it. It’s a whole chapter in the back, and as you might imagine, it’s quite intense, and not like I can summarize the IT, end all be all. Literally.

Hmm.

But the way I see (sic) it is that it is the awareness that you are one with the universe. That awareness sinking in over time can blow you away. And it can take decades, or an instant.

And you can be blissed out, and then be in a funk. It’s like the weather for everyone, apparently. What a friggin relief, eh?

Ahhh.

But everyone needs help with the weather, so breathe it out. and in. No one can predict the weather, so deal with what you/we got, good or bad, it’s cool.

I like to think that somewhere on the planet, someone is always sleeping and if that is the case, someone is literally dreaming.

Someone is always dreaming on the planet.

So if that is true, if you’re having a bad day, ie bad weather, someone is having good weather, and eventually good weather will happen, ie to you.

That works for me.

Someone today was saying that October will be here before you know it and Summer goes so fast and I had to stop her.

Be in the moment, I said. Right? Summer does go fast, and Winter is so long, so very long. Let’s enjoy every moment of Summer even though it does go fast.

In the book it says to chew your food slowly, to be aware of washing the dishes, of your hand on the plate. Somewhere else I read that a monk said that washing the dishes was like washing the Buddha. Yes. I see that. That is when you are meditating truly while washing the dishes, focusing on basic excellence.

I like that. I see that excellence. Just the basics, all the time.

Do it right the first time. Where did I hear that growing up?

I see.

Okay.

Some things are just as common sense as soap and water, aren’t they?

What a friggin relief.

🙂

 

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About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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