http://www.amyjackson.cc/paintings/vietnamjungle10.html
So excited to say that this one is finished. Wasn’t tired of it at all, but with a great feeling, I let this one go into the beyond of paintingdom. Yesterday I was able to complete the blue sky with the tiniest round brush.
Today I worked for a bit with the tiniest round brush with darkest Sap Green, which is almost black here, then so overwhelmed, I had to rest. Then came back later in the day and finished her with lyrical brightest lime mix, again with the tiniest brush.
This finishes this series, which initially was going to be 15 or 20, for I feel I have exhausted my passion for the subject in the representational … I may return to it in the symbolic/abstract/therapeutic one day. But for this show I felt that I needed to not scare the audience so much. And, as I said, Nature won with her clean, bright innocence, her very regrowth and transformation. Yet, I have more to heal from inside, I know, more flashbacks and memories, wounds from that Vietnam War trauma. So, I may return to her. Who can say?
…
Today I had to lay down as I said, and rest, overwhelmed. Catching my breath, I realized I had an enormous amount of pressure/pain in my very brain. Chipper lay beside me and his breathing was strained and audible. That is painful to me as well, but it is what it is. Still, it hurts to see him aging before my very eyes.
My mind was also racing with all kinds of thoughts, good ones, but just, I had to stop them for a while, so I did, to focus on this brain pressure.
I was able to isolate it to middle back brain, throbbing there. I told it calmly and firmly, focusing on my own strained and caught breath, to ease up already.
To even out, to stretch out and smooth out, over time … and slowly it did, along with my breath, as well as an enormous sense that I wanted to burst into tears, which I did NOT do, but was most aware of. Sigh.
It was obviously a very painful brain pressure. It still hurts me now. I wonder how much it stays there, hurting. I will continue to be conscious of it and try to calm it down. I know I have been aware of enormous pressure in my skull in the past, but I think this is the first time I have isolated it and gotten it to calm the hell down. So that’s a plus.
I rested for another hour or so, and then felt the need to get up and paint before the day was gone, and finished the painting. Woo!
…
I write with great excitement and honor that my industrial fotos have been accepted to the galleries of the City of Gaithersburg’s 2015 series of shows. More information to come on that. Very very excited about this. š
…
Tomorrow I needs must get up way early for the 10 am appointment with the therapeutic yoga instructor and it is 6 pm now. Chipper expects his routine bed crunchies now, so I must run.
I count my blessings and they are many. When I was meditated, that was the return. I mean, after getting the brain pressure down, the racing thoughts to stop, after all of that, I remembered — I am blessed! Chill! š and I smiled and was still and could rest. Deeeeeeep Breath. May you be aware of your blessings as well. Thanks for listening, as always.
amyjacksoncc 