Viet-Nam War VII and Viet-Nam War VIII

vietnamwar7http://www.amyjackson.cc/paintings/vietnamwar7.html

Those titles sure get predictable but that’s what this series is about. Yo. I feel it, too. I am ingrained in this process and it is a serious emotional healing thing.

Just in case anyone wondered.

Okay. There is the final image for the seventh painting and below is the current foto for the most recent one.

DSC_0002Where you see the red streaks coming down? that is just an example I left to show you how I am painting in the texture emotionally … for the war was messy, unclear, wild, mad, chaotic … all over the place, as it were. Maybe all wars are? I don’t know. But that section and the black one for death, has a lot of texture. They are not smooth or neat.

Next, to stay within the color palette for this series, will be jungle and soldier green sections coming in, but not blending. Lime and charcoal and blue sky. You may be able to see in the very middle the blue sky section? That stands for the bit of peace and stillness that remains … possible … in the midst of all war. Yes. I mean that. It is courage itself. It is that idealism that is the right and justice. Wherever that ended up, it existed and still exists. Somewhere, right?

Uh. huh.

Now I am not saying I know where it is. But there is peace now. Such as it is. I’ll take it.

Not to say that wars have stopped. Sigh.

Okay. Peace exists in the midst of war on the planet. That is Zen. That is wholeness. In the midst of myself … I have stillness and I have happiness, I have turbulence, anger, warring elements, wanting to come up and be me for a while. I accept that me as me.

See? Buddhism makes so much sense for me.

Okay. So I’ve been so very quiet lately and I’m with this very post trying to open up again. I didn’t even send out an email update at all to my friends and network in June. at all. agh! I’ve been burrowing in bed and … art … and me … and sad. It’s tempting to be all Brian Wilson and create and not communicate out here in the farmhouse don’t you know, especially without Chipper now — you wouldn’t believe it — I hardly get outside? I water the plants, I fill the bird feeder, or try to keep it full but that seed’s expensive?

So I’m trying to turn it around. There was this exhibit at the Nashville Art Crawl Friday night that really got to me. It was kind of like a to do list, a steno pad for writing down to do lists and ideas and visions, right, but it had been bludgeoned and set fire to and drownded and every sort of thing and the artist had started another list or two about what that steno list meant to him. It was fascinated and startling and mindblowing and sad and hilarious and inspiring and enlightening. I mean do you think about how you think about what you think about your plans to do things? What you intend to do with your LIFE? Do you stand back and get some perspective on yourself? That’s a very Buddhist thing, a very rational thing that you would do in counseling as well. A very healthy thing. Or do you just go in circles?

Well, so I found myself in bed. sad. achey. depressed. sigh. just thinking about me. sad and depressed is a loop of bad.

still creating but in a sad way. bah

So it’s been percolating in me since Friday and now it’s Wednesday and I’m up and at ’em. Posting to my website finally, the new painting, gah! Used to be that was like second nature. First thing upon completion. and here I’ve been on a new painting like for a day already.

So. I’m turning over a new leaf!

Also, a dear friend of mine has cancer i found out overnight. I don’t know more than that but she is younger than me, in her prime. a dear girl. i hate cancer.

for her sake … gah i oughta get out of bed

have a life eh?

so

it’s not a death sentence anymore but it sure shakes you to your foundation it does

i love her and wish her well she’s on my mind with every step

sigh

so precious we all are we just don’t know

every single jot of life make it count

you know? cheers! 🙂

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About amyjacksoncc

I am a professional artist, writer and musician creating from my home studio. To view my artwork, visit http://www.amyjackson.cc
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