I am painting again today, for the first time in many days. I’ve been recovering, and still am actually, from a bad cold. Boo. So there has been much resting and emotional processing going on. That’s what I do a lot anyway. If you can tell, I’m also dealing with a bit of depression. Well. So.
Anyway, I am working on my attitude. I am so blessed! I am thinking so much about all the survivors of so many natural disasters right now. All over the world. There is so much going on. You’d think global warming was real. Damn. But we need to care for the world, in a triage manner, while we also plan ahead to develop solutions to care for our planet better. For if the solar eclipse did nothing, it reminded us we live on a freaking planet, after all.
I am able to paint today, and as you can see, since the last time I blogged, have here and there been up to fleshing out the details of the painting I’ve been creating. There are still many layers to go. Today I focuses on extending the green line from the middle, throughout the painting, as I had completed the river flowing through the center some time ago.
Now, before I turn to a completely different mix of colors, more shrouded in brown and gray, for the sections above that are in the light of the Sun, I thought I would stop and show you where I am in the painting.
We have the house windows all open today, and the breezes are blowing through. It is so very fresh, and music is willowing through as well, the Alternative Mix: Bowie, Wilco, Arctic Monkeys, Prince, Emiliana Torrini, Harry Manx, it makes me happy that the eclectic mix is all together. And in cases like Modest Mouse, it’s the only way I can manage the nerves to get through the album. I love Modest Mouse, in small doses, is all. Brilliant.
Speaking of brilliant, Regina Spektor just came on. OMG. I can listen to her all day. OMG. She makes me very happy, due to her spirit, vocalized. Well, I guess you could say that, almost about anyone, but I feel very happy listening to her.
Okay. I ramble. I shouldn’t. I should say that I recently attained something marvelous! My first screenplay, Rebekah’s Closet, loosely based on my first novel of the same name, a few days ago won into the Official Selection for the Oaxaca Film Festival 8. Sadly, a few days, later, a very serious earthquake hit, followed by a tsunami. It’s just horrible. So, I have mixed feelings. Here is a link you can follow to help the survivors: UNICEF.
I know so many things are happening right now. Harvey, Irma, Jose, Katya. It’s incredibly overwhelming. But I thought I would send the link, all the same.
So before the earthquake, when I found out, even when I found out, I was still in such a depression. That is the nature of true depression, yes? I mean, here I was telling myself, I wanted all my life, since I was a kid, to be a writer. I now feel like I’m a writer. The affirmation. I have it. But all I could do was stare into space. Now, granted, I was still sick with this miserable cold in my head and chest. So there’s that to consider.
But still. That shows you what kind of work it is to create my perspective anew pretty much all day. I have to carve it out of the marble of depression. Old stuff. Old Gothic stuff. The past is ever present. My self esteem. I make myself every day. Out of neuroplastic adjustments to my brain. Literally rethinking my way out of old ways of seeing myself.
So I parse and I parse, through everything that is offered, thrown up all day in my mind, heart, soul. I’m not complaining. It’s literally what I do. It’s my responsibility. I’m on it full-time. It’s exhausting, and at times overwhelming.
I am blessed. My screenplay won an award. Maybe it can be made into a film one day, during my lifetime. I’m writing up my second script now, and it is much more adventurous and fun. Intriguing, even.
Now, while the light and energy is good, I’m back to painting on this canvas. My next one, my plan is, will be a complete abstract, a color study, going into Autumn, and Winter. All the colors, it can be. I’m looking forward to that very freedom.