I will need to sit with it and balance, balance …
… hmm …
Yesterday my back seized up so horribly on me that I was only able to paint for maybe twenty minutes? if that long. I did yoga, put ice on it … took a muscle relaxant.
And again it seized up on me first thing this morning.
So on the advice of myself and my counselor, I’ve left a message for my primary care physician to grant a referral to my spine surgeon. Oh hell, I’ll just email him. What?
Anyhoo, the referral request is in, which it has to be to see him anyway.
I just need to know if this is normal recuperative process or not. Right? It’s pretty severe. I had to beg off attending the reception for the NYC show because of it.
My counselor said that the yoga, the potential swimming, the emotional release during meditation, and pillow punching (or shaking, which I prefer due to my achey arms and wrists, neck) and actual SHOUTING and SCREAMING (and I prefer growling) are in order and continuance.
ARgh — I’m such a quiet person — I said singing helps. ?
I can’t shout at home, really, it just doesn’t seem appropriate. Non.
But she said I can in therapy. So there.
I sound like a wounded cat, CAT, okay. And so it is. So she is. I said we need to declaw the poor dear.
Reading right along in Ortega y Gasset. And I’ve decided that I’m kind of an eternal student. I’m fascinated in almost everything, whereas I did have trouble actually passing the Calculus and Physics tests, I thoroughly enjoyed the heady lectures. I don’t mind filling my head with theorems and such, all kinds of facts and literature. Now I don’t have to be tested on them. Lovely.
You will most likely better understand why I say this if I step back and note that Ortega y Gasset is lecturing on scientists, and philosophers, who WANT to know the truth, which is their passion and object, whereas students, the vast majority of whom do not have the passion, but are rather FORCED to not only to know and understand the scientists and the philosophers stuff … but to regurgitate it ad nauseum.
That was always my problem — don’t JUST have me know the stuff, i.e., memorize it, but let me tell you what I THINK about it. YES! That was the actual glory of my women’s college and I am thoroughly grateful for it — Agnes Scott College. They wanted to know what I thought. In fact, I asked almost too many questions. Ahhhh. Yum.
For now I must rest me. Namaste.